There was a shift in me when I truly and finally realized that my life will never ever be stable, from the world’s perspective anyway. And I cry as I write this, it’s beautiful. When I said YES to my Jesus, it wasn’t a YES to a stable perfect human life, where everything is sunshine and rainbows. I said YES to loving Him and people. I said YES to building His Kingdom and making His name known, and that means endless not knowing of what will happen next. Except that I know WHO is still in control, and WHO is always with me. That He will always, always LOVE me, no matter what. That He’s got me, every step of the way. This life I get to live doesn’t have a straight path, but it’s all curved and narrow, and it’s impossible to journey if I do it by myself. It requires endless trusting in God. And when I think I have trusted Him to my best ability, He shakes the ground once again until I lean on Him and depend on His strength.
Oh, I’m sure there will be moments coming again that I will forget for a second and throw a tantrum here or there, but I know I’m sure it will always be a YES for me for Him.
What’s my point in all these then? Just that, don’t expect this life to be perfect. Not in this side of eternity. Not yet my beloved beautiful sisters. But don’t ever think you are alone, because you are not. You are never NEVER alone! You have God on your side, you have millions of sisters all around the world fighting the same battle as you. You are a warrior queen called to be different and be a light to your part of the world. You matter, and your choices and steps matter to God, and to the bigger picture. Never assume you are nothing because that is not true. He loves you very much, and I do too! We do! No matter if we know each other personally or not.
Love you, and keep on keeping on! See you in 2020?