Five years today.
To be quite seriously honest, August is the hardest month for this joyful lady (that’s me!). It’s quite hard to remain happy when you live sandwiched between two of the most heartbreaking days of my life (thus far). 8th of August and 27th of August. Those 20 days in between, I choose to wake up each day, pull myself out of bed, go through the busy day, and end it with a cup of tea and journal in my other hand, alone in the living room, reflecting the day’s episode, then close my eyes and sleep- miraculously with a smile on my mouth.
I cannot (not without effort on my part) adequately describe why & how, despite my current state of ‘loving my life’, yet this day, 27th of August, is still discombobulatedly loyal to a melancholic heart. I can only wish and hope that someday, one day, these dates will be replaced by a day much more heartsickeningly beautiful memory.
While I’m glad August is almost over, I’m also glad I’m still in it.
I can, however, genuinely say, that there hasn’t be so much fruit of maturity in my life than the past five years have brought.
Tragedies do come and go. Heart breaks confound us to step on the brakes here and there. But everyday is a choice to move on and let go.
Sometimes, nonetheless, we have to be honest and face days such as this, and let ourselves lose and allow ourselves to shed a tear or heck cry a river, if only to maintain normalcy in this not-so-normal world. It is times like these though that I personally take time to reflect and engage with my inner self. Reflect on the good times, even the bad times. Reflect on the goodness of God and His faithfulness in my life.